Last year at graduation time I wrote a journal about the advice I would give to high school graduates if I was asked to speak at their commencement. I received dozens of emails and even a few snail mails regarding that journal. Most of them said I should repeat this or some version of it every year or even offer to speak it a class reunion some time. Anyway, the annual graduation party-arama is upon us, so here again, is my graduation speech redux.
To the graduates of 2017, these are the true facts of life: life is always fantastic, life is always fulfilling, life always makes us happy, you can do anything you set your mind to, you must always follow your dream or passion, money comes easy, everyone you meet will be thrilled with you and vice versa, pizzas are really good for you, instant replay isn’t, life is always fair. OK, maybe sometimes, but not always on all accounts.
No joke here, life can get out of your control sometimes: illnesses, bills, accidents, relationships and jobs, for example. Unless you can develop an app that you can sell for millions, you will have to find work to live the dream. I also know that most people have worked a lot of jobs in their lives. Ask your parents and grandparents and I think you will be amazed at what they have made a living at during all the many stages of their lives.
As for me, well for a guy who never really liked work and would prefer reading a book, singing a song, wetting a line, tanning on the sandbar, or even working on the many cars I damaged, I have had a few jobs before I finally found my calling.
Growing up, I helped on the farm, detassled seed corn, bagged groceries, mowed lawns, delivered papers, bused tables, waited tables, tended bar (I found out that busing tables was better than bartending because you get off earlier on Saturday night and mostly nobody notices you unless you dump a tray full of dishes and your feet don’t hurt that much); I pumped gas, changed tires and oil, helped lay down rubber roofing for Texas Refinery Corporation, was a summer custodian at a high school and then a grade school.
I was the blacksmith/stable docent one summer at Stonefield Village (I actually put shoes on a workhorse in front of a crowd); I was an art director and had a bar sign and party banner business; I was a studio news director, an announcer, and I produced hundreds of TV commercials in 13 years on the job; I was a wedding photographer and a display manager.
I judged forensics, talent contests, and debate; I was a baseball and speech coach and language teacher; behind all that or on top of it, or whatever, I made music through the 1960s-1990s, playing guitar, trumpet, harmonica, and bass with a bunch of bands. I have been a columnist and contributor to the Broadcaster since 1990 too.
I hated some jobs like display manager and roofing. I loved being the blacksmith/stable docent at Stonefield Village and a custodian at my alma mater, as well as making music and doing artwork and coaching.
Still, I didn’t find my passion/profession until I was 38. All along the way, I learned a lot of useful or at least semi-useful skills and stuff that carried over into every subsequent job and part of my life; I had a lot of fun at work, and I met many, many people. That’s the best thing ever; at every job I had, whether I liked it or not, I met wonderful people and an occasional dud and even a jerk or two, but mostly I met great people; I hope they felt that way about me.
So what? Well, the “so what?” is mostly that life comes down to decisions. You decide whether to work all your life at a job because it pays OK and you need the money but you really don’t like it — if it lasts, or maybe because you aren’t confident that you can make it in whatever career you think you’d like; I feared I wouldn’t be a good teacher and given the chance, some of my former students may attest to that. You decide whether to hate going to work every day because you think what you do is pointless or boring but you need to make a buck, or you decide that the work you do doesn’t feel like work because you enjoy doing whatever it is.
I guarantee this decision makes a heckuva difference in the better part of a century you get to spend here on planet Earth. I tell people that the best decision I ever made in my life, besides asking my wife to marry me and having kids, was deciding to become a teacher. I didn’t realize how profound that decision was until it happened. My family is great and so is what I did and do mostly, but also I almost never hated going to work when I was teaching. I still enjoy going in to be a substitute teacher.
Graduates, find a way to enjoy your job when you can. If you can’t, find something else. If you always wanted to do something else, do it. Work is good. Money is good. But remember, we work to live not the other way around.
Another big decision you get to make, be open to people, all people. Reject someone at your peril; unless you realize they are harmful to you physically or mentally, all people have worth and you may miss out on a great friendship. Never stop learning — a cliche’ sure, but it’s true: read a book or two that covers all the historical time of your life to learn what was really going on while you were ignoring what was going on around you except for the music and Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter… Read biographies of succesful leaders like Lincoln and FDR and even LBJ and learn how they became who they became.
Let people help you when you need it. It is good for you and it is good for them. When your mom, dad, aunt or grandma wants to send that leftover roast turkey or casserole home with you on Sunday night, take it. You have lunch for a few days and she or he’ll feel good about helping you.
Think before speaking in anger — believe me. I know about this one first hand and from both sides. Forgive. Learn the issues, think, and then go vote always — or don’t complain. Share the good things you know with others, particularly children. Volunteer. Visit your grandparents; they leave us too soon and have a lot to offer. That said, listen to old people — I mean really listen mindfully, you’ll understand why after you do — if you think.
And graduates, call your parents — and often, nuf said.
Until next time, get out...
At age 65, I know that those years vaporize into memories too fast, and that to be angry or unhappy and closed to others for that limited life is a waste when you can decide otherwise. I’ll add a suggestion from a friend who wrote after reading last year’s version: Stephen Covey said, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing," and one other practical response to last year’s version, “Write things down or that thing will get filed in the junk drawer in the back of your mind.” I’ll add one final idea. Keep a journal of events and ideas for your own use. So 2017 grads, don’t worry, be happy - or not; the good news and the bad news is that you get to make the call. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Enjoy.
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